Thomas Merton once said that: “Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony” which has become a famous quote to our upcoming generations. To me, Thomas Merton’s quote seems like a direction for everybody who is looking for happiness.
Happiness is what everyone always desires and tries to achieve. But, it is really hard to define word “happiness”. Someone believes that happiness is a state of being well-being, contentment, others thinks it is a pleasurable or satisfying experience. According to English dictionary, “happiness” is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. This definition somehow helps us understand what is “happiness” and how to be happy. However, in order to understand clearly the definition of this word is also an another challenge to so many people who are struggling to handle a lot of difficulties related to finance, relationships, jobs and to keep their lives stable. All of they, even know the importance of “happiness”, often find their lives boring, worthless, stressful and full of worries. Thus, I personally think that pursuing of happiness is a long journey and “keep the life balanced” is the first step.
“Balance” can be easily understood that you have a handle on the the various elements in your life and don’t feel that your heart or mind are being pulled too hard in any direction. In fact, all elements are generally divided into two-main categories as internal and external and we always tend to be focus on one side of life more than the other. For example, you may spend more time on external things such as work, relationship, activity while other people often care too much on what is going on inside their heart and mind. In particular, internal elements include: mind, heart, health. Whereas, externals contain four different major factors as work, social, family and fun. As you can see, both ends of each spectrum are actually positive; but if either side is taken to an extreme, something that is intended to be positive can end up being detrimental.
If you feel you are falling into which kind of category and uneasy about it, these following steps may help you get your life aligned.
Spend time to look back and be honest with yourself, you will notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting.
2. Set Goals and Set Tasks
Make a list which will help you to improve the situation of neglected elements. Then, Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals. If the situation does not changed, what can you do differently?
3. Self Reflect & Empower
To stay focused toward this goal, you must stop your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self-talk. Try to think of most important thing you’ve accomplished in the past as well as your good point, you are more than what you know. So, be kind to yourself. Balance won’t feel good if you’re cruel to yourself in creating it!
Is there any person who could support, motivate you? Who always stand by you in those hard times? I highly recommend connecting and sharing your inner process with someone. Find someone who can help you challenge your inner demons, and celebrate your little accomplishments.
Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward.